Ask the Trope Fairy is an advice column for protagonists navigating science fiction and fantasy realms. In this dimension, advice is published monthly.
Dear Trope Fairy,
After last Halloween, I felt so lost and unfulfilled by my role as Pumpkin King of Halloween Town. I was wandering-around-alone-in-a-graveyard (but not in the good way) level of unhappy — or rather, not even unhappy, just listless and apathetic and…
Well, I’m all better now. And I understand why everyone thinks that this Halloween might trigger a relapse, but I’m just thrilled to be me!
I’m writing for advice on how to get my girlfriend Sally and my kidnap-victim-turned-friend Santa Claus to stop worrying at me. I’m fine! Better than fine! I’m invigorated with the Spirit of Halloween! Can’t they see that this Halloween will be the finest since the dawn of the nightmare? It will be glorious!
They’re worried because of how I tried to take over Christmas last year. Long story short, I set off, following my ghost dog, and stumbled upon a nexus of sorts in the woods. I went through the tree into Christmastown and…it blew me away. It was a completely new experience! Stunning and the opposite of everything I had ever known…So I convinced the people of Halloween Town to do Christmas last year and give Santa Claus time off. He got all that joy and emotion every year, so at the time it just seemed fair.
I admit it went poorly. I had Santa kidnapped by people who turned him over to Oogie Boogie, and most of my people didn’t truly get the spirit of the holiday, so they designed terrifying gifts to deliver to the children. I even got shot out of the sky.
I know things went poorly.
I understand.
But how do I get them to see that there won’t be a repeat? I’ve learned my lesson — I don’t need therapy, I have the joy and terror of Halloween again!
The Pumpkin King Reigns Again
Dear Pumpkin King,
The tragic thing about this is that you started so well!
You noticed that you were experiencing symptoms of ennui-at-best and depression-at-worst, you took those feelings seriously, and you took concrete steps to address them. Going-off-on-a-journey to find a new lease on life is a cliche for a reason — and you found an amazing, different place to rejuvenate your imagination!
Bravo!!
If only you’d stopped there. If only you could have been content to be a visitor in Christmas-land or met with Santa to form a connection, Head-of-Holiday to Head-of-Holiday. In that way, you could have kept Christmas in your life while respecting Santa’s sphere of control. You could have even brought your team to Christmas-land in order to share the joy on a planned field trip. You could have thrown your energy into a Holiday-Idea-Exchange program of some sort.
You could have done a lot of things that would bring back the joy of your own holiday. The problem is that you couldn’t conceive of celebrating a holiday without also being in charge of it.
Sit with that for a spooky night or two, because that was the true error in your thinking.
Going too far and trusting the wrong lieutenants and not understanding the true meaning of Christmas are all consequences of the decision that you didn’t even realize you made. The decision that you couldn’t just go to Christmas-land to celebrate or accept another person as an equal, with whom you could have a friendship — no, the only way for you to have Christmas would be for you to be in charge of Christmas.
If that is your standard for something you are allowed to enjoy, then yes, you will be trapped forever with only Halloween and no variation. But that’s a choice you’re making! Go on vacation to Easter Island or Thanksgiving Village and enjoy just being a tourist — or a cog in the machine, if you decide to offer to help out.
Let someone else run things, especially when you are decidedly not well-suited to be in charge of them.
It’ll make you better at your actual job, which should be plenty of authority and control for anyone.
So yes, Sally’s right about therapy. And hi, Santa! You’re right as always. I hope you get through to this guy if I can’t.
Transcribed and annotated by Katy Mulvaney with permission from the League of Fairy Surrogates and the Interdimensional Meta—Fantasy Council. The Trope Fairy can be reached by crawling down onto the floor of your bedroom and asking the monster who lives under your bed very nicely. This method has best success on the first days of November when, fully sated by the spooky holidays, these monsters are not hungry enough to jeopardize their home by attacking you. They are honor-bound to deliver messages for non-magical children in exchange for free lodgings at all times but can get ornery about this request when they have gone too long without a good scare.
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